Tides   

Fishing and Outdoor Jokes



Once upon a time, long, long ago, when these two football teams were big names, there was a season when neither the Cleveland Browns nor the Pittsburgh Steelers made the post-season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great rivalry.

So, they decided on a week long ice fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. On a cold freezing day on Lake Erie they began their contest.

The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers had 100. At the end of the 2nd day the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers 200.

That evening the Browns coach got his team together and said, "I suspect some kind of cheating is taking place." So the next morning, he dressed one of his players in black and yellow and sent him over to the Steelers camp to act as a spy.

At the end of the day he came back to report to the coach. The coach asked, "Well, how about it, are they cheating?"

"They sure are coach!" the player reported. "They're cutting holes in the ice!"

tub-for-two e-pk-420A fisherman and his hound relax after a day on the river.

                 
A father and son went fishing one summer day. While they were out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "Dad, how does this boat float?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
"Dad, how do fish breathe underwater?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
"Dad, why is the sky blue?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
Eventually, after the boy asked his father several more questions, he asked, "Dad, do you mind me asking all these questions?"
"Of course not son. If you don't ask questions, you never learn anything."

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Three ancient fishermen are walking to the river to fish off the bridge.
First one says, "'Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

2-106-pk


A father came home from a 10-day bass fishing trip in the mountains and found his son riding a fancy new mountain bike.

"Where did you get the money for that new bike? It must have cost $200."

"Easy dad," the boy replied. "I earned it by hiking."

"Come on," the father said. "Tell me the truth."

"That is the truth Dad!" the boy replied. "Every night that you were gone fishing, Mr. Kabowski from the grocery store would come over to see mom and he would give me a $20 bill and tell me to go take a hike!"

Redneck Fire Alarm

A German and a Polack went on a fishing trip. They spent a fortune renting all the equipment -- the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.

The first day they went fishing they didn't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of them catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. The German turns to the Polack and said, "Do you realize that one lousy fish we caught cost us $1,500 bucks?"

The Polack said, "Damn -- it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

**Bonus Polish Joke

You hear about the Polish Loan Shark? He lends out his money and then he leaves town in a hurry.

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