Take the Fine Line Test

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot -- Steven Wright

Which one are you -- fisherman or idiot? How do you even know which one you are? Do others think you're the idiot? Granted, there's something idiotic in anybody who thinks about how they might get on the water even though it's 48 degrees and the wind's blowing 30 knots. What we're talking about here are rankings. You a major plus on the fishing scale, or on the negative (i.e. not the sharpest knife in the drawer).


This is Captain Billy Turney carefully working a beefy redfish out from underneath a dock. The guy behind the wheel of the boat and the camera lens is local professional Captain Tim Whitfield.


What can you do to improve your ranking amongst the throngs judging you? Let's see if we can wade through the infinite wisdom of Mr. Wright and figure this out! You will need to hit the 250 point mark to be considered a fisherman.

Do you...
Stand there with the rod upside down? -50
No, thank God
Not sure, really -50
Can you cast and retrieve a lure? +30
Know what a lure is? +2
Cast accurately? +10
Use "J" hooks when appropriate? +20
Use "Circle" hooks when appropriate? +20
Feel you can't use a circle hook to save your life? -25
Know you can't identify what a circle hook is? -100
Can catch fish on live bait +20
Know how to catch a fish on an artificial bait +20
Not sure what "Artificial" means relative to fishing
Catch fish on live baits +100
Not sure what "Live bait" means -250
Extra points if you're identified as...  
Fisherman/woman +50
Not sure... 0
Computer Fisherman/Woman -100
Geek or Nerd -250
The Value of Social Networking  
Member of Fishing Club
Hold leadership role in club +50
Did not know there were fishing clubs -300
Read/Lurk fishing forums 0
Post reports on said forums +50
Post Pictures on said forums +50
Question someone's picture-taking ability, ability to hold fish "properly", viciously attack other members of said forum, tell stories about people you have never met, stories based on truth you just make up out of the air, or gripe about the someone's ability to spell -1000

All kidding aside, websites like The Online Fisherman are great resources for our local fishing community; the forums offer tons of information, answers to real questions, and tips and suggestions from really good fisherpeople! Spend some time to check out the forums page(s) here, and be sure to read the front page articles, because because you'll like a lot of what you find (this article aside ...of course!).

On a closing note, if you are the idiot and would like to be the fisherman, there are some great Guides on here that will teach you how to fish and not just take you fishing. Give any one of them a call and it will save you years of trial and error.

You can still find Captain Tim - and probably will be able to find him for another 50 years - at SwiftFish Charters. Trust us - he's MORE than worth the money if you can get yourself onto his schedule.


The Online Fisherman

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